After his untimely death via 16 Brock Lesnar suplexes, I'd like to dedicate this week's Kayfabe Mailbag to John Felix Anthony Cena. He is survived by 26 luxury cars and a walk-in closet. Thanks for the memories John....
What are your thoughts on Summerslam last week?
-Carter from Mesa, Arizona
Great question, Carter! Here are my thoughts on every Summerslam PPV match in one sentence (OR LESS!):
The Miz (c) vs Dolph Ziggler
The Miz's entrance attire is a mix between Derek Zoolander, a bootleg KKK member and a used condom
AJ Lee (c) vs Paige
[The following is a collection of Youtube comments taken from Paige's entrance theme video]
.....And some of yall motherfuckers gonna hate on Jerry Lawler for trying to catch a peek of that booty
Rusev vs Jack Swagger
The Art of Selling By Rusev
Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose
Is the hipster version of a tuxedo match a Hoodie Match? Because Rollins and Ambrose could probably make that a 4 star match too.
Bray Wyatt vs Chris Jericho
Who wear it better?
Stephanie McMahon vs Brie Bella
Is this the first time in history a wrestler got his win back over another wrestler via their wives?
Roman Reigns vs Randy Orton
The reaction of every teenage fan girl during this match
John Cena (c) vs Brock Lesnar
Yeah....I'm gonna need more than one sentence.....
How will history remember the Brock Lesnar/John Cena match at Summerslam?
-Belle from Reno, Nevada
Great question, Belle! As I write this on the evening of Friday, August 22nd, I still can't believe what I saw in that main event. I sometimes think the events of Summerslam were a dream that I have yet to wake up from. I finally had to look in the mirror and take the advice of a wise man....
"This is real Tope. This is a real feeling that you're feeling. Because YOU can FEEL IT! Brock's the reason you're feeling the way you're feeling right now, Tope"
- Brock Lesnar
The Cenation ran right into The Brock of Gibraltar and couldn't stand a chance. It was then I realized where I had this feeling before and it wasn't even that long ago. WWE finally had it' Brazil vs Germany World Cup moment.
An established power house (Brazil/Cena) getting absolutely destroyed by one of the most dangerous entities in the World (Germany/Brock). Replace crying Cena fans with crying Brazilians and those two matches are shockingly similar...
What are the highlights of The Shield members, post-break-up?
-Gordon from Durham, North Carolina
Great question, Gordon! In my opinion, not since Brock Lesnar has WWE booked an entity from Day 1 better than The Shield. They are stealing shows, stealing WWE Network screen time and making girls into women. Let's take a look at the highs and low of (formerly) The Shield:
Highlight - Money In The Bank Holder and a heel turn that is cemented in WWE History
Lowlight - Losing Ambrose to Hollywood for the next month or two might slow down Rollins' runaway train
Futurelight - Cashing in Money In The Bank on Brock Lesnar would be like The Titanic cashing in on an iceburg...so no title soon
Highlight - Still dating Renee Young (and he's one of the coolest babyfaces the WWE has seen in a while)
Lowlight - Not confirmed but he might be dead via curbstomp
Futurelight - If all goes to plan, Dean Ambrose will be starring in Disney's The Easter Bunny by 2016 and Fast 15 by 2022
Highlight - I guess beating Randy Orton is cool
Lowlight - I guess beating Randy Orton is cool
Futurelight - Pretty much the 'Chosen One' of The Shield so he's either a future 12 WWE Champion or in a tag team with Ryback, Ziggler or Cesaro by this time next year
RANDOM WORD VIDEO OF THE WEEK!
Every week I pick a word from a random word generator, randomally select a wrestling-related word, add them together and search Youtube.
The words of this week are.....PEDIGREE (yes, really) & DIRT SHEET