Home Articles Tope Adebanjo Kayfabe Mailbag 8/23/14

Kayfabe Mailbag 8/23/14

23 Aug

After his untimely death via 16 Brock Lesnar suplexes, I'd like to dedicate this week's Kayfabe Mailbag to John Felix Anthony Cena.  He is survived by 26 luxury cars and a walk-in closet.  Thanks for the memories John....

If you have any questions you'd like me to answer on the next Kayfabe Mailbag, tweet me at @Podswoggle or @DrTopeAdebanjo. Let's get to the mailbag!


 Dear Tope,

What are your thoughts on Summerslam last week?

-Carter from Mesa, Arizona


Great question, Carter!  Here are my thoughts on every Summerslam PPV match in one sentence (OR LESS!):

 

The Miz (c) vs Dolph Ziggler

mizwhat?

The Miz's entrance attire is a mix between Derek Zoolander, a bootleg KKK member and a used condom

 

 

AJ Lee (c) vs Paige

[The following is a collection of Youtube comments taken from Paige's entrance theme video]


 

.....And some of yall motherfuckers gonna hate on Jerry Lawler for trying to catch a peek of that booty

 

 

Rusev vs Jack Swagger

abc

The Art of Selling By Rusev

 

 

Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose

 50269034636e7a30d7309b1a1b484e5f

Is the hipster version of a tuxedo match a Hoodie Match?  Because Rollins and Ambrose could probably make that a 4 star match too.

 

 

Bray Wyatt vs Chris Jericho 

bray

y2j

Who wear it better?

 

 

Stephanie McMahon vs Brie Bella 

danielpin

stephaniewinssummerslam

 Is this the first time in history a wrestler got his win back over another wrestler via their wives?

 

 

Roman Reigns vs Randy Orton

thisonefortheladies

The reaction of every teenage fan girl during this match

 

 

John Cena (c) vs Brock Lesnar

cenadead

Yeah....I'm gonna need more than one sentence.....

 


Dear Tope,

How will history remember the Brock Lesnar/John Cena match at Summerslam?

-Belle from Reno, Nevada


Great question, Belle!  As I write this on the evening of Friday, August 22nd, I still can't believe what I saw in that main event.  I sometimes think the events of Summerslam were a dream that I have yet to wake up from.  I finally had to look in the mirror and take the advice of a wise man....

"This is real Tope.  This is a real feeling that you're feeling.  Because YOU can FEEL IT!  Brock's the reason you're feeling the way you're feeling right now, Tope"

- Brock Lesnar 

The Cenation ran right into The Brock of Gibraltar and couldn't stand a chance.  It was then I realized where I had this feeling before and it wasn't even that long ago.  WWE finally had it' Brazil vs Germany World Cup moment.  

An established power house (Brazil/Cena) getting absolutely destroyed by one of the most dangerous entities in the World (Germany/Brock).  Replace crying Cena fans with crying Brazilians and those two matches are shockingly similar...

THE ANNEXATION OF THE CENATION


Dear Tope,

What are the highlights of The Shield members, post-break-up?

-Gordon from Durham, North Carolina


Great question, Gordon!  In my opinion, not since Brock Lesnar has WWE booked an entity from Day 1 better than The Shield.  They are stealing shows, stealing WWE Network screen time and making girls into women.  Let's take a look at the highs and low of (formerly) The Shield:

  

Seth Rollins

Highlight - Money In The Bank Holder and a heel turn that is cemented in WWE History

Lowlight - Losing Ambrose to Hollywood for the next month or two might slow down Rollins' runaway train

Futurelight - Cashing in Money In The Bank on Brock Lesnar would be like The Titanic cashing in on an iceburg...so no title soon

 

Dean Ambrose

Highlight - Still dating Renee Young (and he's one of the coolest babyfaces the WWE has seen in a while)

Lowlight - Not confirmed but he might be dead via curbstomp

Futurelight - If all goes to plan, Dean Ambrose will be starring in Disney's The Easter Bunny by 2016 and Fast 15 by 2022

 

Roman Reigns

Highlight - I guess beating Randy Orton is cool

Lowlight - I guess beating Randy Orton is cool

Futurelight - Pretty much the 'Chosen One' of The Shield so he's either a future 12 WWE Champion or in a tag team with Ryback, Ziggler or Cesaro by this time next year


RANDOM WORD VIDEO OF THE WEEK!

Every week I pick a word from a random word generator, randomally select a wrestling-related word, add them together and search Youtube.

The words of this week are.....PEDIGREE (yes, really) & DIRT SHEET

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA9jDE4OJVU

Tope Adebanjo

Tope Adebanjo

Been Watching Since: 1999

Favorite Wrestler, currently: Daniel Bryan

Favorite Wrestler of All Time: Edge

Least Favorite Wrestler, currently: N/A

                                       Least Favorite Wrestler of All Time: Goldberg

                                       Guilty Pleasure: Willow

                                       Catchphrase: "[Insert PPV Here] is gonna..."

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