So, I have wanted to find the right point to recap what I have seen in my PPV Diaries for a little while now. Every 10, 20 or 25 seems a little cliché. Then, I was thinking about Bill and Jalen’s NBA recaps this past season done in Birdmesters or every 33 days for Larry Legend (Bird, not Zbyszko).
To blatantly steal from Grantland once more, my PPV Diary recaps will be done every Flairiod, meaning every 16 PPVs for every title the Nature Boy is recognized as holding (and period is a synonym for semester).
At the bottom of each article will be links that contain the current rankings of every PPV, the win/loss records of every competitor ever, the MVP/LVP list and the favorite/least favorite matches list.
Here are my Top 5 Overall MVPs in the First Flairiod
1. Macho Man Randy Savage: He is the only guy to win more than one MVP award, wrestled the most matches and seems like the most outstanding character by a country mile thus far.
2. Tully Blanchard: Tully has been the best heel in either company. He can be funny, ruthless, confident and scared. I’m sad that he will get hooked on drugs very soon.
3. Jesse Ventura: I finally see the hype about his work with Gorilla Monsoon. Jesse adds so much to each match, can make me laugh out loud and make me see things the heelish way really easily.
4. Jim Cornette: Corny is the most obnoxious, charismatic and grating personality aka doing his job to the hilt as a heel manager. He’s outshined Bobby Heenan thus far.
5. Sting: In just two matches, Sting has gotten me so excited for his future. The man could go early on and is ready to hold crowds in the palm of his hands.
Here is my Top 5 Overall LVPs in the First Flairiod
1. Nikolai Volkoff: I’m astounded that stories still aren’t told about how awful Nikolai Volkoff was in the ring.
2. Billy Graham: It doesn’t matter if he is trying to do karate, wear tye-dye, commentating, arm wrestling or actually wrestling. He was past his prime before he started working.
3. Bob Caudle: Did he have dementia or something? He seems so aloof and takes away from the shows by being overwhelmingly bad.
4. Dino Bravo: A lot of the muscleheads that get crap during this era don’t deserve it, but Dino Bravo should accept all of those negative reviews.
5. Lord Alfred Hayes: Who thought making this guy talk so much was a good idea?
Here is my Top 5 Uncrowned MVPs of the First Flairiod
1. Ricky Steamboat: I feel incredibly guilty the Dragon hasn’t received this award yet because he has wrestled in more of my favorite matches than anyone. That said, believe the hype surrounding Ricky Steamboat!
2. Davey Boy Smith: Dynamite Kid gets all of the love, but Davey Boy was rocking more impressive moves and exuding more charisma in some great contests.
3. Greg Valentine: The Hammer is the quintessential mid-card heel. His work is solid, his selling is superb and he never has a bad match.
4. Paul Orndorff: Mr. Wonderful has shown that he can expertly play a heel or face, expertly work a good match and expertly piledrive motherfuckers.
5. The Jumping Bomb Angels: I wish Vince McMahon would have known what to do with these ladies because they shined brightly in just two appearances.
Here is my Top 5 Uncrowned LVPs of the First Flariod
1. Jimmy Valiant: The Boogie Woogie Man was over with the crowd, but I am so thankful that I’m over seeing him suck on PPV.
2. Don Muraco: I think an actual rock would be better between the ropes.
3. Ronnie Garvin: I think booking is partially to blame, but every time I look at him, I think of Oliver from Oliver and Company for some reason. He is just a runt that bothers me.
4. Mr. T: Sure, he helped bring in new viewers, but he probably drove current viewers away with his awful program with Roddy Piper.
5. Paul Jones: What a waste of space.
Here are 10 that Have Surprised Me in No Particular Order
Hulk Hogan: I was expecting steaming crap, but he’s carried his end of the deal.
Magnum T.A.: I wish I got more than one match from him.
Brutus Beefcake: I was expecting steaming crap, but he will get there.
Danny Davis: What a great pesky heel.
Hillbilly Jim: He is too athletic of a big man for his era.
Hercules: A great partner for a solid singles match.
The Barbarian: Getting stuck with the Warlord is tough, but he is making due.
Adrian Adonis: Size doesn’t matter.
George Wells: Why didn’t he get anything else besides his job match with Jake Roberts?
Tama: He has charisma coming out of his ears.
Here are 10 that Have Disappointed Me in No Particular Order
Ric Flair: It may be controversial, but he has underwhelmed me despite being the namesake of this article.
Steve Williams: Did the name Dr. Death come from his effect on the audience?
Rick Rude: Excuse me while I slap on a rest hold to someone nearby in honor of the Ravishing One.
Tito Santana: He is the 1980s Kofi Kingston.
Slick: If the song Jive Soul Bro could manage people, I would prefer that.
Terry Taylor: I said it before, but I’m starting to understand why he became the Red Rooster.
Junk Yard Dog: He’s lucky that he makes me think of cake.
Ricky Morton: His #shit is getting a little predictable.
Jim Duggan: If you thought Hacksaw relied on HOOOOOO, you win the grand prize!
Bad News Brown: I wouldn’t have told him to his face that he disappoints me.
Overall, the first Flairiod has been a lot of fun because it was mostly filled with events I wasn’t familiar with and shows that filled my childhood. Sure, I didn’t see any Canadian Destroyers or Omega Drivers, but I did see ring psychology, stories being told and hard-nosed action.
The next Flairiod will bring us into the new decade and I can’t wait to see the rise of the Blade Runners in two different companies, a lot of awful Dusty Rhodes ideas and images and the Great motherfucking Muta.
I’ll see you at Survivor Series 1988!