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Kayfabe Rankings 7/10/14

12 Jul

Click here to see how the Kayfabe Ranking is decided

 

Welcome to the HISTORIC 3rd edition of the Kayfabe Rankings! Like the old saying: "One is an accident, two is a coincidence, three is a trend". To celebrate Article #3, I've decided from this point going forward, I'd open these kayfabe rankings with a short (and I do mean short) kayfabe mailbag question! Let's get started:

 

Dear Tope,

Who earns the highest kayfabe points per match and why is it John Cena?

-Love Tope


Great question Tope. The two things my kayfabe rankings gauge in a non-kayfabe sense are (1) Who should be the #1 contender/Who WWE is trying to showcase, in the ring (2) Who are the biggest jobbers in the WWE. Kayfabe-wise, the rankings are to determine who's having the best kayfabe year in WWE.

If we ranked wrestlers by KPI per match, we'd be ranking who WWE protects the most in one-on-one matches (or who are the biggest stars, kayfabe-wise). Here's how the top 10 ranking would look (Roughly +3 points is a win, -2 points is a loss):

 

Link to KPI per match


Let's go to the rankings!

 


 


Kayfabe Rankings (Through 7/10/14)

 

1 2 3 4 5


Bottom 5:

25) Kofi Kingston

26) Sin Cara

27) Jack Swagger

28) Damien Sandow

29) Titus O'Neil

 

FACTS/NOTES OF THE WEEK:

  • Biggest Winner! Sheamus (#3; gained most points this week) is the only man in wrestling history to beat the Canadian Bret Hart and the Mexican Bret Hart in the same week
  • Biggest Loser! Big E (#7) didn't wrestle a match this week but with Rusev wrestling RVD (#10), Big E now has the 5th easiest schedule this season. Unfortantely for Big E, that comes with a point penalty
  • Randy Orton (N/A; not enough matches) had his first one-on-one decision since Wrestlemania 30 this week. He followed that up on Smackdown with his second one-on-one decision. On a similar note, I can't wait for Orton to do a middle rope DDT on El Torito
  • Kofi Kingston (#25) moved up another spot for a second straight week but also got his ass kicked for a second straight week. So...congrats Kofi?
  • This week it was revealed that Santino Marella (#14) will retire from in-ring action. Santino is everything we at Podswogle love about wrestling so it's sad to see him go. Comedy wrestling is an art and Santino was god damn Leonardo da Vinci!
  • SANDOW (#29) STILL ISN'T LAST!!!!!!!!!

*Note: A win is roughly +3 points to your KPI while a loss is roughly -2 points.

CLICK HERE TO SEE FULL RANKINGS HERE

 

Tope Adebanjo

Tope Adebanjo

Been Watching Since: 1999

Favorite Wrestler, currently: Daniel Bryan

Favorite Wrestler of All Time: Edge

Least Favorite Wrestler, currently: N/A

                                       Least Favorite Wrestler of All Time: Goldberg

                                       Guilty Pleasure: Willow

                                       Catchphrase: "[Insert PPV Here] is gonna..."

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