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Should Do, Shouldn't Do!: July Edition

06 Jul

"It's time to SHAKE THINGS UP AGAIN!" - Vincent Kennedy McMahon, June 10, 2002.

summerIt's summer time, smarks and smarkettes, and you know what that means: warm apple pie, trips to the beach, long commutes on public transportation to work because you have an actual job… and of course, time for the WWE Creative Team to drift out of cruise control and put their feet on the collective gas. Who can forget the last two summers in the WWE? In 2011, the Reality Era began in Las Vegas, NV, when CM Punk brought the phrase "pipe bomb" to the Universe and shook Sports Entertainment from the ground up. And the year before, Justin Robert's necktie was used as a foreign object and the Nexus was born. Can the WWE top that? Probably not… but here's a little game I like to call "Should Do, Shouldn't Do!"

 

Should Do: Turn Santino and Tensai into a comedy tag team… Think of the possibilities! Tensai standing in the back all stone faced, Santino walks up, Italian accent in tow, "What's a wrong with a you… you lookah so Tensai!!" It'll write itself.

 

Shouldn't Do: Keep the United States Title on Santino any longer. I mean, he just doesn't… he's not a believable… his finishing move is a socked strike with his… why is he U.S. Champion again?

 

Shouldn't Do: Continue to show Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero making out. It's gross.

 

raquelShould Do: Remember that Vickie Guerrero… ya know, was married to Eddie Guerrero. We are in the Reality Era, and in the narrative of pro-wrestling, nothing is off-limits. This isn't to say that Eddie's legacy need be desecrated in any way. But what better way to get Dolph over (read: more over) than to take him from #HEEL to #MEGAHEEL by inserting Eddie Guerrero into the equation. When the dissolution of Vickie and DZ comes, and it will come, what better parting shot is there from DZ than to assert himself as being the greatest wrestler Vickie has ever been with, calling Eddie overrated, etc. Perhaps the young Shaul Guerrero could be inserted into the equation… kill two birds with one stone and bring Rey Mysterio back to defend the Guerrero name, and we could see DZ earn hate that even Eddie himself may have never garnered. 

 

Shouldn't Do: Reveal that AJ is the love child of Kane and Katie Vick. This seems obvious..

 

Should Do: Reveal that Daniel Bryan digs crazy chicks, too. There isn't a long-term reason why AJ would benefit Kane, and CM Punk needs but a microphone and the sweet sounds of The Living Colour to be awesome. Daniel Bryan is the type of heel to cultivate this entire little love triangle in order to serve his long-term interests. And what happens if Daniel Bryan is playing the long-con on AJ too? This is the most interesting thing the WWE has going.

 

Shouldn't Do: Let Heath Slater wrestle real matches.vaderslater

 

Should do: Continue to let Heath get squashed by "Legends." You're doing the Lord's work, Heath. Keep it up!

 

Shouldn't Do: Keep the World Title on Sheamus… I'm sorry, but Face-Sheamus doesn't interest me. 

 

Should Do: Put the World Title on Ryback… just wanted to see if you were still with me… that could be a good idea someday, who knows. 

 

Shouldn't Do: Ignore my sage-like wisdom!

 

Should Do: The opposite of what you shouldn't do. Mind blown.


Mike Holzer

Mike Holzer

Been Watching Since: 1995

Favorite Wrestler, currently: Daniel Bryan

Favorite Wrestler of All Time: Diamond Dallas Page

Least Favorite Wrestler, currently: Santino Marella

                                      Least Favorite Wrestler of All Time: Hulk Hogan

                                      Guilty Pleasure: David Otunga

                                      Catchphrase: "Spoiler Alert"

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