“We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round.” –Jack Nicholson, “The Bucket List”
Even though it has been more than a month, I am still riding high after attending WrestleMania 28 and attending all the festivities that went on throughout the weekend. I mean, I have been a wrestling fan since the early 1990s. I remember watching with my brother and enjoying every minute of it. And when it comes to the end-all, be-all thing that I wanted to do to celebrate my love for wrestling, it was to attend a WrestleMania live.
However, throughout the whole weekend, I realized that I was also experiencing different things that I should have wanted to experience, too. Like attend a Ring of Honor match. Meet a current world heavyweight champion. Even witness a 5-star rated match live. It was while I was collecting these thoughts that I was, in a way, checking things off of my Professional Wrestling Bucket List.
As I was doing this, I decided to scour the Internet to see other wrestling fans’ bucket lists. I wanted to compare and see what other things I should do being as big as a wrestling fan that I am. Much to my surprise, however, the amount of bucket lists that I did find from other wrestling fans I could count on one hand. And the number of tasks on these lists was very limited. It baffled me that with professional wrestling being around for as long as it has been and being as big as it is now, there are not a lot more of these bucket lists from diehard fans like me. So, as we always like to do here at Podswoggle, we like to break new ground. Even if it is by blowing that ground the fuck up.
Therefore, we all decided to put our brains together and create the Ultimate Professional Wrestling Fan’s Bucket List. It includes the 100 things that every diehard wrestling fan should do before they go to that big wrestling ring in the sky. A number of them are completely feasible. A number of them are difficult. And a number of them are just downright ridiculous and can’t be done unless you are practically a downright stalker or you showered yourself in shamrocks, horse shoes, and rabbits’ feet. But hey, one can hope and dream. And like it was said in the Shawshank Redemption, “Hope is a great thing.” And while some things can’t be done anymore due to the fact that they are not around, this list is more catered to diehard fans that have been around for many years and not any fans jumping on the bandwagon. This is for those wrestling fans like me and the rest of the Swoggle Squad. Without further ado, this is the Ultimate Professional Wrestling Fan’s Bucket List:
1-25: Live Events
1. Attend a World Wrestling Entertainment show live.
2. Attend a WWE Hall of Fame Ceremony. And perhaps, maybe one day, visit the actual physical WWE Hall of Fame.
3. Attend a World Championship Wrestling event live. Yeah, I know they aren’t around anymore. But hey, they were for 13 years. And had some damn good wrestling. So if you became a fan after the Invasion, sorry.
4. Attend an Extreme Championship Wrestling event live. Again, yes, they aren’t around anymore. But they had some damn good wrestling, too. So if you became a fan after 2010, sorry.
5. Don’t attend a Total Nonstop Action/Impact Wrestling event live. And no, that’s not a typo.
6. Attend a Florida Championship Wrestling show or any other WWE developmental show.
7. Attend a Ring of Honor show live.
8. Attend a Dragon Gate or Chikara show live.
9. Witness the sheer craziness of a Combat Wrestling Zone event live.
10. Attend a WrestleMania live.
11. Attend a Royal Rumble live.
12. Attend a Summerslam live.
13. Attend a Survivor Series live.
14. Attend a wrestling show at Madison Square Garden.
15. Watch a 5-Star match live.
16. Step into an actual wrestling ring.
17. Sit front row at a televised/pay-per-view event.
18. Start a chant at a wrestling show that the whole crowd chants.
21. Receive an article of clothing that a wrestler gives away at a show. Like Cena’s shirt, Big Show’s winter hat or Mysterio’s mask, for example.
22. Convince a friend to run into the ring at a wrestling show. You don’t want to do it yourself and get kicked out, do you?
23. Get your sign and/or yourself shown on national television at a wrestling show.
24. Form a friendship with a complete stranger at a wrestling show. I mean, you both already share something in common.
25. Assist a wrestler during his match by providing him with a weapon.
26-45: Merchandise/Memorabilia Related
26. Own the shirt of a wrestler, preferably your favorite one.
27. Own a Wrestling Buddy.
28. Own a replica wrestling championship title belt.
29. Own a luchador mask. You may want to stay away from the Sin Cara ones, though, unless you really hate your anterior cruciate ligaments.
30. Buy a wrestling shirt just for the sheer ugliness of it. Like the Corre shirt, for example. I did. Even though it was $13 and one size bigger than what I actually wear.
31. Own a wrestling video game. And if it is the TNA one and not any WWE one, may God have mercy on your soul.
32. Own a DVD about your favorite wrestler.
33. Own the complete Royal Rumble DVD set.
34. Own the complete WrestleMania DVD set.
35. Get a picture with a wrestler, preferably with your favorite one.
36. Have a wrestler signature collection, preferably including your favorite wrestler.
37. Own a wrestling collector item. Like a collector cup, for example. I could have had a WrestleMania 28 one. But you know that whole saga.
38. Own a wrestling related CD or a slew of MP3s. Maybe like John Cena’s album? It was a good album, people.
39. Own a wrestling action figure, preferably of your favorite wrestler.
40. Own a WWF/WWE foam finger, preferably of your favorite wrestler.
41. Read a wrestling related book. If I could suggest one, read “Hardcore Diaries” by Mick Foley. Really good eye-opener.
42. Own a wrestling poster, preferably of your favorite wrestler.
43. Own a wrestling related hat, preferably of your favorite wrestler.
44. Own a pack of wrestling related trading cards.
45. Own a pack of wrestling related playing cards. Like WWE UNO cards, for example.
46. Meet your favorite wrestler.
47. Meet a WWE Legend/Hall of Famer.
48. Meet a current world champion.
49. Meet a wrestler’s real life husband/wife/family.
50. Meet a current/former wrestler at his/her second job. I’m still wanting to see Miss Tessmacher give me some wings at Hooters. Swoggle Squad road trip?
51. Have a wrestler perform their finisher/submission on you.
52. Perfect the Triple H “water spit take.”
53. Perfect the Mr. Perfect “gum spit swat.”
54. Perfect the Stone Cold Steve Austin “two beer self-toast and drink.”
55. Smoke out with Rob Van Dam.
56. Walk through a cemetery with the Undertaker.
57. Do some yoga with Diamond Dallas Page.
58. Attend a Chicago Cubs game with CM Punk.
59. Throw a beer to Stone Cold. Hell, have a beer with him.
60. Have Kurt Angle write a drunken tweet about you.
61. Outlive Scott Hall.
63. Receive a stink face from Rikishi…or Kelly Kelly. Choice is up to you.
64. Catch the Rock’s elbow pad before he does the People’s Elbow. Even if it is once every 25 years. Right Tope?
65. Receive a chop from Ric Flair.
66. Join the Kevin Nash Fan Club. It’s only $59!
67. Attend a Saturday temple service with Goldberg.
68. Be in the same room with New Jack and still live to tell the tale.
69. Play hockey with Chris Jericho.
70. Have sexual relations with a female wrestler.
71. Meet the Anonymous Raw General Manager.
72. Hear “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase’s laugh in person.
73. Join the “Vince McMahon Kiss my Ass Club.”
75. Have a chance to hold “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan’s 2x4. HOOOO!
76-100: Best of the Rest
76. Touch a real-life actual wrestling championship title belt.
77. Be able to call Vince Russo a “dumbass” to his face. He lost WCW $60 million in one year, for God’s sakes!
78. See a WWE Studios movie. Or don’t. Probably better if you didn’t.
79. Eat a WWE Ice Cream Bar. They’re coming back. Don’t worry.
80. Have the ringtone of your phone be a wrestler’s theme song. Currently, mine is Dolph Ziggler’s “I Am Perfection.”
81. Dress as a wrestler for Halloween and/or a costume party.
83. Get mistaken for a wrestler by another wrestling fan. Like the time Mullet got mistaken for Tommy Dreamer by a little kid at a gas station.
84. Watch the WWE Network. It’s not on yet, but it will be.
85. Walk down an actual wrestling ramp toward the ring with theme music playing.
86. Watch “Botchamania.” Don’t worry Maffew. We got your back.
87. Grow a heel beard.
88. Convert at least one person to like wrestling. Mullet has done this multiple times.
89. Celebrate something by performing the “title belt around the waist” motion. And no, it is not called the “Discount Double Check.”
90. Perform a wrestling move on somebody else. I mean, WWE says don’t try this at home, but does anyone really listen to that?
91. Create yourself as a Create-A-Wrestler in a wrestling video game.
92. Get a tattoo that is wrestling related in some way.
93. Rip a shirt Hulk Hogan style. And if you can do it without giving yourself a starting cut in the collar, then you are strong.
94. Snap into a Slim Jim! OH YEAH!
95. Have a subscription to a wrestling magazine. Like Pro Wrestling Illustrated or WWE Magazine.
96. Face paint your face like a wrestler’s. Maybe a little Ultimate Warrior?
97. Own a pair of wrestling boots. This one’s for you, Rich.
And last but certainly not least…
98. Read every Podswoggle article there is now and there will be in the future.
99. Listen to every Podswoggle podcast there is now and there will be in the future.
Hey, we have to try. Now while there may be some things missing from this list, hopefully reading this would want you to make your own professional wrestling bucket list. And maybe use this list as a starting point for you as well. Now get out there, get these tasks done, and be the best wrestling fan you can be! And if you excuse me, I’m going to accomplish task #70. Oh wait, that’s a mistake. I meant task #73. Anything to be the ultimate wrestling fan.