"Don't blink your eyes becauase you may miss it" -Jerry Lawler after Sheamus defeated Daniel Bryan
The Road Back From WrestleMania...
I had all the rasslin’ fan Deckers (dad, brother, eldest niece) over to my place for WrestleMania. The pre-show was fighting with Comcast in an attempt to give them $55 and let me watch the damn program. See, in my neck of the woods in Central Virginia, Comcast has not mastered the fine art of the pay-per-view transaction. I had more trouble ordering WrestleMania 28 than my father had ordering our first PPV as a family, WrestleMania III. Whenever I talk to Comcast, I imagine the Three Stooges pulling out cables and plugging them into each other’s orifices at Comcast Headquarters, then asking me from the other end of the phone, “... is it on now?”
Speaking of The Stooges, thanks to Raw for having them on as guest hosts. I was getting hyped up to go see it- for real- but now I can put that $10 towards my next pay-per-view instead. How Carrot Top’s agent didn’t land him the role of Larry is anyone’s guess.
As for WrestleMania, what can you say? Aside from the weak start (“No... no.... no....” I muttered at the television as my 13-year old niece celebrated Sheamus’s victory) it was pretty good stuff. So good, in fact, that I want to change my Podswoggle Bio to remove Triple H as my “Least Favorite Wrestler, currently.” One quick snap of my fingers should do it. If only I could snap my fingers. To make sure this wrong is righted, I’ll send an extra email to Podswoggle Headquarters and hope that cables and orifices are not involved in the process of desmirching Triple H in my Bio.
Not only that, but I’ve included Trips in my “... And Still Champion!” comic strip below. The ultimate mea culpa for being hard on the guy.
Favorite WrestleMania Moment
Here’s a transcript of an exchange I had with my niece during the classic Hell In A Cell match between Triple H and the Undertaker.
(Undertaker is choking Triple H as Shawn Michaels, the guest referee, looks on.)
Niece: “Isn’t he supposed to count to 5?”
Me: “No disqualification. Taker could choke him for five minutes if he wanted to...”
Niece: “WHAT? That’s not right!”
Me: “It’s Hell in a Cell, not Ice Cream Stand in a Cell.”
New Least Favorite Wrestler, currently...
Lord Tensai is a strong frontrunner. But I don’t want to rush to judgement here. So for now, I’m going to keep my Least Favorite current Wrestler vacant. The big reveal will be in my next column, so I better jot down lots of reasons why I hate the guy (or gal) I pick.
TWEET of the WEEK
HBK RTing JBL. That’s a lot of capital letters.
And Still Champion...
In episode 1, AJ told Daniel Bryan backstage that she was pregnant. To make this edition of All Decked Out even more special, I’m hitting you with Episode 2 & 3 in one fell swoop.