I thought it was fake.
Even after numerous online reports, WWE wrestlers retweeting him and his own son confirming it, I still didn't believe it. It was the combination of perfection.
Two awesome things becoming one. It was Dusty Rhodes and Twitter.
For me, it was December 7th, 2011 that will live in infamy because that was the day I officially discovered @DustyWWE.
There are several degrees of bad. There are:
So Bad, It's Horrible (i.e. Sharmell vs Jenna Morasca)
So Bad, It's Boring (i.e. Most WWE guest hosts)
So Bad, It's Good (i.e. The Shockmaster)
But I'm here to open up a new chapter in the degrees of bad. So Bad, It's not Bad because It's Actually The Most Amazing Thing Ever. Dusty Rhodes' Twitter can only be described as such. (Booker T being a close second for me)
For some reason, the idea of Dusty Rhodes having a twitter never crossed my mind, until Podswoggle Guest Writer Sara Solano wrote an article called, "Wrestlers Who Didn't Have Twitters, but Really Should Have". In the article, she absolutely nails what it would be like if Dusty Rhodes had his own Twitter.
Even after reading that, I thought "Maybe Dusty was just working us or he would have a Ghost Tweeter." I was pleasantly wrong.
@DustyWWE is every 'Old People Can't Use The Internet Joke' ever created, in 140 characters or less. Between him not knowing how to reply to people, to him using two @@ symbols, all the way to his keyboard turning heel on him, @@DustyWWE is Hashtag Entertainment.
As I write this, Dusty Rhodes has just over 100 tweets in 5 days. At that pace, he'll be hitting 7300 tweets per year! (The smile on my face has to be surgically removed). Before his Twitter hits its peak, I decided to go through The American Dream's first 100 tweets to try to analyze how he uses Twitter.
Wrestlers usually have Twitter styles that match their wrestling style. @TrueKofi's tweets try to be fun and jokey. @CMPunk's tweets are cool and snarky. And @RealKellyKelly probably tries to tweet with a calculator. Going by Dusty Rhodes' wrestling style, DustyWWE's tweets should be high energy, insane, inspirational and pretty damn funny. I was not wrong.
Here's Dusty's first official tweet:
Does he mean he's new to Twitter? Does he mean he just woke up from an afternoon nap? Did his Viagra finally kick in? Who knows? Regardless, the simple 'I Am Up' was a great start to what his Twitter would bring. I will also add that this was also probably his most grammatically efficient tweet.
I could imagine that Dusty Rhodes crossed paths (and fists) with many angry fans in the Deep South during his wrestling days. But, his greatest match-up of all time might be against Internet Smarks. Internet talk is its own language and Dusty is still trying to grab a hold of English after 66 years. Hell, the only time I could picture Dusty Rhodes even using the word 'troll' is if he was talking about Hornswoggle. What I'm guessing is the following tweet came after one too many Internet slurs:
But, like the man Dusty is, he did not back off. On the contrary, he turned his haters into motivators. And by that I mean, he reaffirmed his blackness:
I've said this once and I'll say it a million times: Dusty Rhodes can get ANYTHING over. Anything. Give him a tube top as ring attire and he'll have thousands of grown men coming to shows in tube tops chanting "Sugar Tits! Sugar Tits! Sugar Tits!" within a month. To this day, I only believe Virgil was as popular(?) as he was because he was given Dusty Rhodes' real name. From my analysis, if his first 100 tweets say anything, they say Dream has found a home in Twitter.
Even with all the craziness, weirdness and confusion that Dusty Rhodes can offer, you can find some great gems on his Twitter, such as this one:
So, if you have a Twitter account right now, I want you to do two things. First, follow @Podswoggle (we're attention whores) and second, hit that follow button 100 times for @DustyWWE. Because like the great Dusty Rhodes once said:
Wait! Nope! Sorry, not that one. I meant: