Like most men aged 18-34 who have nothing to do with their lives, I love fantasy football. I love fantasy football because it's not about teams winning and losing, but it's all about the numbers, data and facts. Sometimes it even gets to the point where I'm cheering for my favorite team, the 49ers, to lose so my fantasy team can win (Yeah, I'm a terrible fan, sue me). Just like fantasy football, wrestling has a lot of important facts and stats, too. It could be the number of matches a wrestler has won in his or her career. Maybe it could be the total number of days a wrestler held a Tag Team Championship. Or my personal favorite, the average number of tags in a 14 Diva tag team match.
But, I'm going to tell you readers a little secret. Wrestling is weird. I know, I know. Shocking. So instead of breaking out some straight-laced stats out of the old stat book, I'm going to give the people what they want: Wrestling's Most Important Facts. The goal of this series of articles is simple. It's to make you care about things you thought you could never care about (Hey, Hulk Hogan's Wrestling Career in TNA, How You Doing?). Also, I'm an educator, so if you learn one thing from reading this article, then I've done my job. If you learn nothing then I....well then I....just don't be a dick and learn something alright? Let's Get Started!
1) # of Days it took Big Show to win his first World Title: 1
# of Days it took Mark Henry to win his first (Non-WWECW) World Title: 5475
15 years, huh, Mark? Let's not forget that 'The Giant' not only won his first world title in his first match but won it after he fell off the side of a sports arena earlier in the night. Where a normal man would die, The Giant turns lemons into championship champagne. Oh, and what was your excuse again, Sexual Chocolate?
2) John Cena has ended the reign of 6 first time WWE Champions (JBL, Edge, Sheamus, Miz, Rey Mysterio, Alberto Del Rio), the most all-time.
As a 10-time (and counting) WWE Champion, it's expected that Cena would end a newbie's first world title run. The fact that four of those six title reign destructions have happened in the last 18 months....not so good. We get it Vince. Cena can win matches or whatever you're trying to prove to us fans. Now close your eyes, spin around five times, randomly pick someone in the locker room and push them to the moon, will ya? (Please don't pick Heath Slater though). On a similar and sad note...
3) As of Hell in the Cell 2011, the last two 1st time WWE Champions (Mysterio and Del Rio) and the last two 1st time World Heavyweight Champions (Ziggler and Christian) have held their titles for a combined 37 total days during their first runs.
This stat would probably be a little better if 35 of 37 days didn't belong to Del Rio. While all these title wins and quick losses were all meant to push a bigger storyline...COME ON. The first title reign is suppose to be a special moment. Look at Mysterio's first WHC title win. Or Eddie's first WWE title. Or HBK's. Shame on you for messing with these boys dreams, WWE. Shame on you.
4) Smackdown's Version of Money in the Bank in 2011 was the first Money In The Bank Ladder Match Without a Black Wrestler
Honestly, there's not really a bad or good thing here. It was just something I noticed. Still, I can't help to be a little offended that they decided to put the whitest guy in WWE history in the only match without a black wrestler. And then have him powerbomb a Mexican through a ladder. Am I looking too much into this?
5) The only wrestlers to go undefeated & wrestle in all 6 "WWE vs WCW/ECW Invasion" PPVs are The Dudley Boyz
ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I mean I know they are the 898942894 time Tag Team Champions, but you can't throw RVD or Jericho or even Edge or Christian a bone? Hell, I'd be okay if no one went undefeated during a SIX MONTH PAY-PER-VIEW period. But the Dudleys? Really? REALLY? Meh, whatever. Good for them, they probably deserved it.
6) In a 4 month span (September 99 - Jan 00), 5 straight wrestlers lost their WCW Title because the championship was vacated
Yes, you heard me. FIVE STRAIGHT WRESTLERS. It went a little something like this. Sting Wins, Sting Vacates. Bret Wins, Bret Vacates. Bret Wins, Bret Vacates. Chris Benoit Wins, Chris Benoit runs his ass to WWF to get away from this mess. Sid Vicious Wins, Sid Vicious....you know the story. And that story goes, Kevin Nash stripped Sid of the title, awarded himself the WCW Title and then Sid beat Nash the same night. Fuck this company.
7) As of October 2011, every single wrestler who won at ECW's PPV December to Dismember is no longer in WWE.
The Hardyz, Balls Mahoney, Elijah Burke, Daivari, Kevin Thorn, Ariel and Bobby Lashley all had the burden of winning at one of the worst PPVs in wrestling history. For their crimes, all but Kevin Thorn had to serve hard time in TNA. Look for Kevin Thorn to debut in TNA in 2012 under the name "That Vampire Guy From ECW" and win the world championship within 3 months.
Fun Side Note: 7 of the losers that night (CM Punk, Kelly Kelly, Big Show, Nunzio, Johnny Nitro, Joey Mercury and Matt Striker) all worked for WWE in 2011, in some capacity. It pays to be a loser, sometimes.