“FINISH HIM!!!” -Mortal Kombat
Growing up, the only way I could determine if something was “normal” or “accepted” was to see if other people did it too. I imagine I was not the only one to do this. Being a wrestling fan was another one of these things. Growing up, I started watching wrestling with my brother. Outside the confinement of my home, I had no idea if this was a big thing for other people as it was for us. Well, it didn’t take long for me to find that it was. Both my brother and I had friends that enjoyed wrestling as much as we did. While my fascination for wrestling withered a bit while in college, my induction into the Swoggle Squad changed things. And my love for wrestling is just as big as it was when I was little. Now that I am an adult, too, I can discuss the in-depths of wrestling and the fascination of it with other adults as well. This led to one topic that, again, I needed confirmation to determine if it was “normal”: creating finishers.
Growing up, creating finishers and other wrestling moves was a way for me to pass the time and put my creative juices to use. Sure, I had names for them all. The Big Bang. The Anvil. The Pendulum. The Whiskey Hangover. Yeah, I know it’s a Godsmack song, but I thought of it first! Anyway, when WWE started adding the “Create a Finisher” option on their video games, I knew that I wasn’t the only one! I finally knew that it was normal! The original idea for this article was to list my created moves. However, the idea came up of not just doing mine but the entire Swoggle Squad’s! So let’s go big! For this article, each Swoggle Squad member will list their signature move and finishing move (as in Smackdown vs Raw 2011). With each move, I will also decide which wrestler I would like to see perform the move and why. And since this will be like a video game, anything is possible. Like Rich doing a double moonsault. Or Tope shoulder pressing ANYBODY. Like I said, we’re going big. So without further ado, it’s time to play the game that I now know wrestling fans love: What’s…your…finisher?
Signature Move: 360 Degree Spinebuster
It goes like any ordinary spinebuster would go. You would catch your opponent bouncing off the ropes. However, instead of just turning around and dropping him down to the mat, you do an extra turn so that you are facing the original direction and then give him the spinebuster. Doing the extra 180 degree turn adds more momentum and also prevents the opponent from anticipating the impact like he can for a regular spinebuster. Even though the spinebuster is a well-used move, this 360 degree spinebuster is the next painful generation of it.
Wrestler I’d Like to See Utilize Move: Mason Ryan
Let’s be honest. This move is all muscle. No string beans allowed. So it makes sense to have one of the strongest wrestlers perform this move. And if there is one thing that Mason Ryan has, it’s muscles. However, the finishing moves that Mason Ryan has now doesn't reflect that. Sure, he’s got the swinging side slam and the side effect on steroids. But those moves have been done before. I’ve seen spinebusters and 180 degree spinebusters. But never 360 degree spinebusters. For God sakes, WWE, you gave Batista that big powerbomb. And you gave Mark Henry that big slam press. Separate the strong from the not-so-strong and give Mason Ryan a muscle move like this one. Just be sure to pay us royalties when you do.
Finishing Move: Ohio Hi-Lo
The move is essentially a sitout Alabama Slam. To do this, you put your opponent on your shoulders by placing your head between his legs while he is facing you. When you stand up, you grab his legs and take a couple of spins. After that, you pull his legs down and slam his back into the mat. For the Ohio Hi-Lo, while you pull his legs down, you simply sitout onto the mat. While this move will require more power in order to throw the opponent over your head and sitout at the same time, the sitout maximizes the impact.
Wrestler I’d Like to See Utilize Move: David Otunga
It goes without saying that this move is a powerful one. So it has to be performed by a strong wrestler. However, some technical ability is required with this move, too. It’s not just a simple shoulder press or powerbomb. Therefore, David Otunga stands out strongly as one perfect to utilize this move. He is a strong wrestler but not too strong that it hampers his technical ability. Plus, his finishing move is already a standing Rock Bottom modified spinebuster. So why not give him a better modified spinebuster that looks much better and more devastating? No harm. No foul. Just power. Otunga!
Signature Move: Jumping DDT
Tope’s signature move is an alternate way to deliver a DDT that gives it more flair and impact. First, you would kick your opponent in the stomach. And have him bent over. Then, while standing and facing your opponent, you would jump up in the air as high as you could. On the downfall, you would grab onto your opponent’s head that is still bent over. When you fall down to the mat, you would fall on your back. This would cause your opponent’s head to be driven into the mat as well. In the blink of an eye, your opponent goes from standing to down on the mat. Lights out.
Wrestler I’d Like to See Utilize Move: Tyson Kidd
There are moves that wrestlers use that no matter what the size of their opponent is, they can use this move no matter what. Examples include Miz’s “Skull Crushing Finale” and Kofi Kingston’s “Trouble in Paradise.” This jumping DDT is one of the moves. It is actually better with a bigger opponent since the drop of the DDT will be from a higher height. So you know what? Let’s give it to the weakest wrestler on the roster which would be Tyson Kidd (not counting Divas even though some are probably stronger than him). Plus, his two finishing moves are both springboard moves. Why don’t you mix it up a bit, Kidd? Maybe by doing that, you would have more success and not jobbing for EVERYONE! So take this move and be grateful!
Finishing Move: D-Bomb
This is a move that Tope actually created playing “WrestleMania 2000” on Nintendo 64. It is a combination of a powerbomb into a sitdown facebuster. First, you would perform the motion of the powerbomb by bending your opponent over with his head between your legs and flip him up sitting on your shoulders. Then, instead of slamming your opponent’s back into the mat, you push his body off of your shoulders and flip their body 90 degrees. This will cause your opponent’s legs to swing up while his head moves down and toward you. You would simply then grab your opponent’s head and perform the sitdown facebuster. By performing a facebuster from this height, this move will look devastating. BOOM HEADSHOT!
Wrestler I’d Like to See Utilize Move: Drew McIntyre
Now let’s be honest. This move is COMPLICATED, to say the least. Performing this move is going to require a wrestler to not only be physically capable to do it but technically capable as well. Strong and technical. Not really a combination that goes together. But we have some wrestlers to work with in this area. And probably the one at the top of the list is Drew McIntyre. He has the strength. He has great technical ability. Plus, his height is perfect to make the impact of this move big. I mean, the Future Shock DDT is good, but it is a double-arm DDT. It has been done before. You say your Vince McMahon’s golden boy? Do this move and make him your bitch.
Signature Move: Gutbuster/Famasser Combo
So for Rich’s signature move, he decided to give us a 2-for-1 special. First comes to gutbuster. You would place your opponent on your shoulders like you are doing an Attitude Adjustment, Wasteland, or pretty much 20 other moves. You would then lift your opponent over your head. While they are falling to the mat, drop down to one knee and have their gut drop down to your bent out knee. BUST THAT GUT! Next comes the famasser. When your opponent gets back to his feet bent over due to his hurt gut, jump up in the air as high as you can. When you are falling, get one leg behind his head and drive it down to the mat. By taking two good moves and combining them into one, you have one awesome impact.
Wrestler I’d Like to See Utilize Move: Kofi Kingston
This move not only requires some strength for the gutbuster but the ability to jump high for the famasser. And there is no one that can jump higher in the game right now than good ol’ “Boom Boom Boom” himself, Kofi Kingston. I mean, do you see how high he gets on those springboard clotheslines? He looks like he is 10 feet in the air! When you think about it, a move like this could be considered the Boom Shot 2.0. Right now, Kofi Kingston is one of the most exciting wrestlers right now with his creativity and flying abilities. With a move like this, he would be taking those two qualities and tying them into one. And when he hits a move like this, you know his opponent is going to be calling out “S.O.S!” Or “Help” for anyone who didn’t know what S.O.S. stood for. Idiots.
Finishing Move: Cami Clutch
So Rich decides to be the only member of the Swoggle Squad to utilize a submission move. And what a good one it is. It is Rich’s version of Edge's Edgecator. First, with the opponent on his back, you would grab his legs, place your right leg through his, and cross his legs and lock ankles. Kind of like the beginning of the Sharpshooter. But then you would turn the opponent on their stomach while you stay facing the same way and drop down to one knee. So not only are you applying torque to your opponent’s back, you are applying it to his ankles. Then, to complete the move, grab his right arm with your left arm and make his right arm go around his throat. This will cause his neck and upper body to arc up. So not only are you REALLY putting torque to his back you are also choking him out. It’s like 4 different submissions in one! Another combo! Apparently, Rich likes combos. And I should know. We go to a lot of fast food restaurants.
Wrestler I’d Like to See Utilize Move: Daniel Bryan
A submission finishing move being done by Daniel Bryan? Oh my, what a surprise. But hear me out. The man has completely revolutionized the game when it comes to submission moves. In the world of wrestling today, it has become the bigger the move, the better. Unfortunately, for skillful wrestlers that do not have jacked muscles, they cannot do this. They have to work their way around it and find what they are good at. And Daniel Bryan has done just this. He has immersed himself in the world of submission moves. He has been mastering many different moves for years. He has done more for the field of submission moves since Ken Shamrock. And even then, he could probably make Shamrock tap 20 different ways. Submission moves have become Daniel Bryan’s passion. And there is no one that should utilize this move but him. Thank you, Daniel Bryan. You don’t have to say, “You’re welcome.” Just make someone tap with the Cami Clutch and that’ll be good enough for me.
Signature Move: Standing Corkscrew Shooting Star Press
Wow. Augie is certainly extending his capabilities for this one. But nonetheless, it is a badass move. When your opponent is down and you are standing over him, you basically do a standing shooting star press onto your opponent. But to make it more badass, you throw a corkscrew into the equation. So while you are performing a standing SHOOTING STAR PRESS (which is hard enough) you throw a 360 CORKSCREW in with it. In order to do this move, you have to be very fit, very athletic, and very flexible. And I think I know just the person…
Wrestler I’d Like to See Utilize Move: John Morrison
In all honesty, Augie probably created this move and submitted it for this article knowing that Morrison was the only one that could accomplish this. I mean, out of the whole entire WWE, he is the only wrestler I have seen ever attempt a standing shooting star press. So when it comes to a standing corkscrew shooting star press, it might as well be Morrison who utilizes the move. But hey, look at the bright side. It’s cooler than Starship Pain. And he would probably hit it more often than he does Starship Pain. There. Problem solved.
Finishing Move: Dark Side of the Moonsault
Staying with the theme of high-flying impressive moves, Augie’s finisher is right along with this theme. It is, essentially, a moonsault DDT. To start the move, you would stand on the top rope while your opponent stands in the ring facing the opposite direction. So essentially, your backs are facing each other. Then, you would jump and perform the moonsault. However, instead of performing a press on a downed opponent, you would grab the head of your standing opponent and deliver a DDT. Oh yeah. Augie just went there.
Wrestler I’d Like to See Utilize Move: Rey Mysterio
Now this was a hard decision. At first, I was going to give this move to Christopher Daniels because he is the man that utilizes the “Best Moonsault Ever.” But the way that he does it is so original and so clean that I wouldn’t want him to get rid of it. I was then going to give the move to Sin Cara (I or II). But the way that he botches so many matches, I would be afraid he would break someone’s neck. It’s a move that requires high-flying ability and pinpoint precision. And one wrestler that sticks out in my mind when I think about these skills is someone that has been doing moves like these for years: Rey Mysterio. The man has been flying high and performing incredible moves for years. With a move like this one, I want someone I can trust. The 619 is a great move. His springboard hurricarana to pin is an awesome move. But this move is incredible. And one that can be performed well by the masked man.
Signature Move: Kickstand
In all honestly, I created this move 6 months ago. It was what started this whole conversation and article. It is essentially taking R-Truth’s finisher “The Shut Up” and making it worse. First, you would stand beside your opponent and face the opposite way of your opponent. Then, you would lay your arm across his chest and grab onto his farthest away shoulder. Like you are setting your opponent up for a Rock Bottom. Then, you would kick out your opponent’s leg that is closest to you. If your opponent is on the right of you, this would be his right leg. So now he is standing on one leg. Lastly, throw your opposite arm behind your opponent, lock hands, and snap backwards to take a back bump. This will drive your opponent’s head and body to the mat with you.
Wrestler I’d Like to See Utilize Move: R-Truth
This move is a heel move, no doubt about it. It screams arrogance. It screams, “Shut up!” It screams, “Fuck you!” The move is not a glorious signature move, but a down and dirty rotten one. That being said, it does not require strength. It does not really require technical ability. All that is required is the ability to make it look like a heel move and the ability to snap back quickly. And honestly, R-Truth does this move well enough. He might as well use the modifications I have added and become more of a heel. Lord knows that if he did do this, he would be right up there as one of the top heels on Raw. Along with his two imaginary partners.
Finishing Move: Bionic Elbow
My pride and joy. It’s so simple it is remarkable that no one has ever thought of it before. You ever notice how all elbow drops are performed by turning the body 90 degrees to the right to drop the right elbow? Well, how about spinning the body the opposite way 270 degrees to drop the right elbow? That’s all it is. A 270 degree reverse spinning elbow drop. I would imagine that after spinning 180 degrees, when I was facing the ceiling, I would extend my arms and legs fully out. And then in the next 90 degrees, bring it all back in. The momentum of the spin and the compacted mass after bringing it all back in. Panache and destruction. The perfect finisher.
Wrestler I’d Like to See Utilize Move: AJ Styles
So I had to go outside the WWE for this one. But it works. An elbow drop is a simple move but there is so much involved with it. It requires you to be of a big enough stature for the move to be devastating enough but also be able to be acrobatic to make it work and give it the flair it needs. “Macho Man” certainly had this. So did Shawn Michaels. And so does AJ Styles. For Styles to be the size that he is and be able to do the moves that he does, I have no objection at all to him being nicknamed “The Phenomenal One.” That being said, if there was one wrestler who could give this move the style (no pun intended) that it needs, he is the one. So get ready to fly!
So what have we learned from the Swoggle Sqaud’s creative moves? Apparently, Mullet wants to be jacked. Tope is as technical as Dean Malenko. Rich loves combining moves and utilizing all 5 parts of the “Create A Finisher” mode. Augie has a yearning to fly. And I like to stick to the basics and make them not-so-basic. All in all, there is only one word to sum up all of the views and creativity expressed here: Copyright.