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Being a Swoggle Sweetheart

24 Aug

"It's a man's world." -James Brown

mizgurlI was tricked into liking wrestling.

I don’t know when or how or why I began to consider myself a “wrestling fan,” but it was not a conscience decision - on my part anyway - but rather on the part of my boyfriend, Mullet.  He was bound and determined to turn me into a wrestling fan – something he told me no less than two dozen times during the first couple of years of our relationship.  I laughed in his face.  Now he laughs in mine.

Don’t get me wrong – I am no longer ashamed of liking wrestling.  While some (most?) weeks, the storylines are like a bad episode of Dynasty, some character and plotline development is good enough to keep me watching, at least.  The athleticism and passion of the superstars (and the Divas…I guess), the comedic overtones and the enthusiasm of other fans (the fact that there are other fans), is what keeps me coming back.  Also, no matter how bad things get (and they get pretty fucking bad), the Swoggle Squad has a compulsive disorder and must stay tuned in and updated on all the happenings in the wrestling world.  Between the shows, DVDs, websites, magazines, more shows, action figures, live shows, merchandise, tweets and podcasts: I couldn’t get away from it even if I tried.

Being a girlfriend of the Swoggle Squad – I’m not gonna lie – it’s rough.  I can’t make plans on Monday nights (some Fridays and Sundays too), I’ve been caught purchasing more wrestling memorabilia than I care to remember and the boys are always talking shop.  If I wasn’t into wrestling, I’d be insanely bored.  ALL. THE. TIME.  My DVR is comprised solely of WWE shows and recorded PPVs.  More than one-third of the DVDs I own are wrestling related.  There is an entire two-shelf bookcase in my living room devoted to WWE Magazine, and I sit as close to front row at all live shows we attend.

That being said, I own several WWE shirts (and figures and autographs) of my own.  I watch every PPV with the Squad and am steadily making my way through Mullet’s DVDs.  I make sure to read every WWE magazine back to front (and see how I stack up against the Sexy Superfan of the Month).  Live shows are my favorite – the yelling and chanting and energy and clapping and nachos and botches and getting way too into the matches and meeting the Superstars.  One of the first things people unintentionally find out about me is my love of wrestling – not only do I answer their questions (that most of the time aren’t even directed at me), but I provide them with a back story they didn’t ask about or care to know.  I can’t help it – when I talk about wrestling, it’s like I get diarrhea of the mouth (and I’m probably not the only one).

I don’t know if I remember a singular moment that roped me into wrestling fandom.  It may have been the constant onslaught, courtesy of SantinoLashleyMullet and Rich, of WWE shows and DVDs and chatter and reminiscing.  Or my first Royal Rumble (2008), which I thought was pretty exciting for an event that tended to be slightly confusing (the drinking game that accompanied it didn’t help this fact).  It could have been Bobby Lashley or King Booker or the debut of Santino Marella (a moment I still giggle at).  I can recall an endless amount of WWE moments, but whether or not they endeared me to the sport is still undetermined.

Wrestling has become an important staple in my life, as reluctant as I am to admit it.  It has been a part of my life as long as my boyfriend and I have been together, improv and sketch comedy (my favorite hobby) and many of my friends.  While I complain and mope and groan about having to host the Swoggle Squad every Sunday night at my apartment and having to miss my TV shows, I really wouldn’t want it any other way.  While life around the Swoggle Squad isn’t always easy, it’s always guaranteed to be fun.

Still, life could be worse, I suppose. I mean, they could be fans of TNA.

This is the first of three in a special series where Podswoggle lets the ladies express their feelings about the world of professional wrestling.  Be sure to check back soon for the second installment.


Samantha Mullet

Samantha Mullet

Been Watching Since: 2007

Favorite Wrestler, currently: Zack Ryder

Favorite Wrestler of All Time: Triple H

Least Favorite Wrestler, currently: Chavo Guerrero

                                       Least Favorite Wrestler of All Time: Abyss

                                       Guilty Pleasure: Hornswoggle

                                       Catchphrase: "Fuck you, Mullet!"

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